“There’s a special place in hell for women who don’t help other women.” – Madeleine Albright
I recently attended The Sunday Times Style Magazine’s Shine seminar. The two-hour workshop marked the launch of Girls Get Ahead – a campaign aimed at helping females to help each other thrive and get ahead at work.
For a ticket I had to submit an explanation of what success looks like to me and was delighted to win one of 100 places to find out more about the campaign (and obviously tap into my inner Arianna Huffington).
When I arrived, I introduced myself to a friendly group of ladies and we chatted about our jobs and what to expect from the evening. We were soon invited to sit in a beautiful room where the editor of the magazine introduced us to Anna and Caroline, the founders of Shine for Women.
Photo credit: Vicki Couchman
We started off by assessing our current reality by assigning scores to areas of our lives; ten being ‘amazing’, one being ‘very poor’. Ever the optimist, I labeled every area five or higher.
Money? It’s doing alright… Five. Health and fitness? Went to the gym last Sunday… Six. Fun and recreation? Well, I could be outside in the sunshine enjoying after work drinks… Six. But that’s ok, I’m at this workshop, investing in my goals and myself so… Eight for personal growth and career!
Anna explained that this simple exercise encourages you to take a step back and identify which areas need more focus, and which are going well.
One of my favourite exercises was meeting my inner gremlin – yes, we all have one. We ladies can be pretty hard on ourselves. You know, that inner voice that makes you feel like s***. Anna explained that we can’t get rid of our gremlin, but to deal with it we need first to identify it.
My gremlin lives in my stomach, it’s a ‘she’, and sometimes tells me my work is “not good enough”. My exercise partner hit the nail on the head when she said I probably care too much what people think. “Only let the gremlin say things aren’t good when it really matters. Know when to listen to her, and when to trust your gut instinct.” Suddenly, my female Gollum blossomed into a fluffy Care Bear.
We also did a visualisation exercise: Visiting Planet Shine. We imagined that we’d reached our goals and appeared on the front page of a national newspaper. Anna asked us, “Who’s with you in the picture?” Me. Just me.
“What’s your story?” I’ve saved lives… Not sure how but I have made a positive impact on a large population. Maybe my communication skills have sky-rocketed sales of a drug and I’ve saved many lives!
When I spoke to others in the room, many saw themselves with their partners or children. Wow, there I was imagining myself in one of Angelina Jolie’s power suits, with a Winfrey-style blow dry, oozing Merkel-like popularity. So narcissistic and selfish, Imaan! But one single mum told me not to be silly. “I have a family to look after. You’re still young! Now is the time to put yourself first!”
The exercises were good for us individually, but the talking to strangers part was about connecting and realising that no matter where you are on your career ladder or what’s going on in your personal life, we all have fears and insecurities. Sharing concerns or asking for help isn’t a bad thing. In fact, that was the whole point of getting women together; understanding what we want to be, and how we can help each other achieve “success”, whatever success looks like to you.
The best thing was meeting so many wonderful women willing to share their experiences, barriers and goals. Despite our differences, we were all there to progress, on a personal level and/or with our careers.
I really enjoyed the evening and when I looked around the room, it looked like the 99 other ladies were having a good time too.
#GirlsGetAhead